MY RANT FOR THE DAY!!!!

As I look around my house I see many things that make me cringe. These are things that I am sure NO mom would have ever invented. I am convinced that some grey haired man in a suit that sits behind a desk all day came up with these terrible inventions...

Let me just say that I am thinking about changing everything in my house to brown... brown carpet...better yet, let me just get hardwoods. couches,curtains,walls,floors,cabinets,towels, and of course light switches. I'm pretty sure no mom with small children would ever make anything white! Sometimes I ask myself,"How on earth did Landen get peaches or sweet potatoes on the light switch? And let me just say that trying to clean up sweet potatoes and peaches out of your carpet is no easy job either.(especially when it's throw up)and poop on a white towel....yeah, good luck getting that out!

Ok, so I am a neat freak and I LOVE a clean house, lines in my carpet, fresh linens on my bed, bathrooms smelling like bleach, no finger prints on mirrors, no dust on my ceiling fans.... I have a friend who absolutely loves her vacuum. It has a light switch on it that tells her when her carpet is clean so she can move on to the next spot. Now before Landen I would have a field day with that thing but now, It takes me long enough to clean my floors without some light making me feel guilty if I move on before it tells me I can. I just don't need that kind of pressure when I vacuum, people! Not only that, but carpet just makes me mad! It's a germ catching, fruit snack grabbing, and always muddy when it rains pain in my rear!!! And speaking of vacuums, why are they (or is it just mine) louder than my car engine? A mother would NEVER invent anything that would wake up an infant/toddler from miles away! You would think I was a crazed lunatic if you saw me trying to clean my house only when Landen is sleeping...hey, that's the only time I can! So why on earth would I run my vacuum when he's sleeping???

Body by victoria? Seriously, I know this is not technically an invention but I get so sick of seeing these young women on these commercials with boobie jobs and liposuction, ok maybe not liposuction but you can tell they definitely haven't had children saying "I love my body." I'm sure you do princess, you've never pushed an 8 lb baby out, never breast fed a baby to leave you with saggy boobs and stretch marks! Why not have commercials with REAL moms that have had children, have stretch marks, several gray hairs and a few, ok 20 extra lbs saying "I love my body." Now that's a real commercial.

OK to a different subject~(Since we are talking about cleaning)

A few random signs you've waited toooooo long to clean your house! People these are not ALL mine!

1. Your clean laundry has become fixed items on your couch that your children just don't notice it anymore and they just plop down on top of it to watch t.v.

2. The unidentifiable stuff on your childs wall will not come off with bleach, hot water and soap, or that "goof off" stuff won't touch it either and your only other option is to paint over it!(no this has not happened to me yet)

3. After you Windex your windows, your kids run face first into the door because they thought the door was open.(this happened to me as a child but NO it hasn't happened in our house)

4. You actually just throw away dishes because the dried food on them has turned into a cement compound. Again, not me but my brother has done this! (Sorry Dwayne)my late brother Wesley would do this too!!=)

5. You have to wash a load of laundry three times because you have forgotten to put the laundry in the dryer and your clothes have spoiled. Sooooo nasty and yes I have done this!! 

Speaking of a clean home, I have lots to do today and I'll be running around like a crazed lunatic trying to clean up while Landen is napping!

One last thing~

Since this blog is supposed to be dedicated to Landen and for us to be able to reach out to others with special babies with SB I feel like I need to give an update on our monkey! I feel like I have stolen this webpage from him to rant and rave about my daily activities and things that irritate me...there I go again...

Monkey: He's doing quiet well, REALLY REALLY well!!!!!! We are still waiting on his stander, you know how insurance companies are.( That's a whole new post at another time)

We had to cancel his appt at Shriners during the month of Jan due to the snow. =(   I was not happy about that. I LOVE going to the Shriners Hospital. So now we go back in Feb. and hopefully will be fitted for his AFO's at that time.

Landen still takes a daily antibiotic so he will not get a bladder infection. We are thankful that we don't have to catherize him yet.

Landen gets smarter and smarter every day!! I could just sit and watch him play and manipulate his toys, try to put his gamecocks hat on his head and talk back to his toys.(It's so cute)

We are starting to plan his 1st birthday. I know it's not until April, but hey, this is a special day for our Monkey so we have to go ALL OUT for our little Rock Star!!!!


I JUST LOVE THAT LITTLE BOY!

                                Ok, it's nap time.....time to start my engine and get cleaning!!

I WILL NEVER DO THAT

Before I had children I used to say, "I will NEVER do that when I become a parent." I would say to myself, "How hard is it to take a wipe and clean those nasty faces, or I'd gag seeing a mom wipe her kids nose with her shirt, or "give in" to a screaming child (spoiled brat..I'd like to spank that child myself)when a mom would spit on her fingers to clean her childs face(that's sick)I will NEVER cook several meals just because my child is a picky eater..they'll eat it or starve,I will never let my children just sit and watch tv, they need to be active, oh and who in the world lets their kids eat food that they just dropped on the floor(sicko's)I will never take my kids out in public looking like rug rats...I could go on and on about the things I used to say I would NEVER EVER do once I became a parent because how hard could it be?? That was obviously BEFORE motherhood.

Now, lets take a glimpse into what I have become...

Sometimes I look at Landen(my 8 1/2 mos old) and see dried cereal on his face and wonder "Oh my, how long has that been stuck there?"

We will go to Walmart and I'll notice I didn't get all the throw up off his shirt OR MINE...Oh who cares it's a fashion statement!

What's that smell?? Oh, he pooped! I forgot to bring in his bag...He can wait until we get to the car!

Lexi will say, "Mom, Landen's nose is running or he has a big booger in his nose." The shirt sleeve comes out before I can even get to a wipe! (I know that's so nasty..while I read this I am thinking "Tosh, really?") Hey, it's eco friendly. Think of all the tissues you could save! =)

TV for Lexi and Zach was like a sedative...It would paralyze them for longer than 30 minutes at a time. That's the only time I could go to the bathroom or shower without my kids at my ankles. Did they watch too much t.v....absolutely. You should try it before you judge me, it's wonderful.

And as far as me, who needs expensive perfume when you can smell like vomit all day. Oh the sweet aroma of spoiled milk.

As far as dropped food...It's no longer a 5 second rule...it's a 5 minute rule, it won't hurt them.

And something that I said I would NEVER EVER do...take my kids out looking like rug rats. I've been told it gets easier after the first time.=)  I must say that that is a true statement. I have now taken Zach out with bed head, his teeth were not brushed, landen still in pj's (at 4pm), and dried,smelly throw up on my shirt.Yikes! That is a little hard to admit! What happen to me?? I have become that mom that I said I would NEVER EVER be! My brother in law USED to say that I looked like I just stepped out of a fashion magazine...now I have bed head, pj's on, smell like throw up...but that's just how I roll! =)

The thing I miss most~

SLEEP..Zzzzzz   huh? I feel like I run on empty all day. Getting up at 7am is like a vacation! Not having kids sleep in the room? What's that? My son, Zach, has some anxiety issues and sometimes wakes up throughout the night. I can recall several times that he has "knocked" on my forehead and told me he had a bad dream..."ok, well what do you want me to do?" Landen wakes up and cries randomly throughout the night so I'll bring him to his portable crib in our room. I wake up tripping over the pallet in the floor that Zach has made at 3:45am. The bags under my eyes are now permanent fixtures on my 36 yr old face. Someday I know that I will sleep again.I must, I must, I must!!

I know I must sound like I am complaining but I truly wouldn't change my life in ANY WAY! Ok, so I run on empty quiet often, my diet consist of cookies, soda and whatever is easiest to grab and go, my wardrobe is no longer "dress up" clothes, it's comfy pants and oversized shirts and my idea of romance is getting a 5 minute back rub from my husband. Our date nights consist of us grabbing Taco Bell or whatever is cheapest and coming home to watch Cops,AMW,and 48 Hrs mystery, my idea of "me time" is being able to take a shower without hearing "Mom Sis told me to shut up", "Zach did...whatever", "Mom can I go outside and shoot squirrels", "Mom Landen is crying", "Mom can I come in I have to go potty"  (and it's not like we only have 1 bathroom but they have to use the bathroom that I am in). Again, I could go on and on and on and on...you get the point!

This is my life and I love it!!!

OUR ADOPTION JOURNEY FROM THE BEGINNING

Today's post is a little longer than normal but it's a story of our Adoption Journey and the past several years of our life. I've been asked by several people as to why we chose adoption and why we decided to go with a special needs child.

Let me just tell you that when I was a little girl I wanted 4 kids, the yellow house with a white picket fence and 2 dogs, oh and the most handsome husband! blah blah blah.. you know the fairy tale! Well, life isn't a fairy tale!

Long story short, I had 2 amazing children and after my second was born, I decided to get my tubes tied. I ended up divorced and KNEW that getting my tubes tied was the right thing because I knew that I was NEVER EVER getting married again. THEN... I met my most handsome husband(a part of my fairy tale).
We got married and immediately started talking about expanding our family. We went to Chapel Hill, got my tubes untied and started the Journey of having a baby. After several months and no luck, my OBGYN did a series of tests that showed I had PCOS and my right tube was blocked. Sad, depressed, but determined, we decided to take the plunge and go to the REACH clinic in Charlotte NC and start fertility treatments. After daily visits, lots of lab work, thousands of dollars on drugs, shots and timed.. you know... ALL of that failed! We decided to go forward with adoption through our local church service (LDS Social Services) so, we pay the necessary money for the home study, SLED checks, finger prints, house checks, interviews, my childrens' interviews, water tests, immunizations records, doctors' notes, you name it and we did it.

Anyways... I'm trying to compile this so it's not so long.(Hang in there)

Growing up I witnessed special needs children getting teased by others. Children are brutal when it came to others being different. I never stood up for those individuals that were being teased for fear that I would be teased. In my heart, as a teenager, I knew that when I grew up I wanted to be a parent of a special needs child or atleast be a mentor for those children. So as Ron and I continued our adoption journey, we searched the internet for a Down's Baby because that's what Ron and I were comfortable with. We had no luck there so we went through several DSS sites, we sent our HS to probably 30 different organizations with NO luck. Sad, ticked off, depressed, overcome with emotion, did I say ticked off, we decided to just give it a break for awhile.

2 short months after we had "given up" I got a call at 8:30am on Wednesday April 28th from our SW with our church  asking us if we wanted to be family B for a baby that was being born with Spina Bifida, Hydrocephalus and possibly some heart problems. She said that Family A that had been chosen may or may not back out. My response was SURE! My question to her was when is the baby due? She said "in 30 minutes, she's going into surgery right now." I was happy to say the least but when I talked to my husband on the phone, I told him not to get his hopes up because who in there right mind would "back out" of an adoption? I prayed and prayed and prayed my little heart out for several hrs waiting for the phone call from our SW. Jean, our SW called me as I was in the line at my son's school to pick him up. I was SOOOO nervous to answer her call and was trying to hold back tears if she was to say, "Sorry Mrs Black, maybe next time." When I answered, her first question was, "have you been praying?" I told her YES, and she said, "the baby is yours!!!" I can't remember much, I actually think I peed on myself...just kidding!! Everything after that was pretty much a blur. I remember talking to the attorney several times that night, getting directions to Greenville Hospital, getting the low down on my baby's condition and of course ON LINE shopping for my new baby boy! We had nothing but a bouncer that I purchased about 6 mos prior just because it was practically brand new and a GREAT deal.

The next morning we were on our way to Greenville SC with the kids(we kept them out of school because they were excited to meet their new brother). we spent about an hr with the birth parents and at 2:30p they signed their rights over and we got to name our sweet baby...Landen Bishop Black. He had surgery to close the opening on his back so he had to stay in the NICU for 5 1/2 weeks before we were able to bring him home, where he belonged.

Some people may not understand adoption and some people may feel sorry for me... PLEASE DON'T! I did not squeeze Landen out of a teeny tiny hole in my body but that does not make him any less part of me. Like any birth, Landen is a miracle to us and was made just for us just like any biological child.

My mom told me when I got my tubes tied that I was going to regret it. Last night when we were talking, she said,"I bet you regret getting your tubes tied don't you?" I said NO mom because if I had not gotten my tubes tied, we would not have Landen. The thing is, my tubes are untied now and I can still have children...with a little help from Dr's... but what difference does it make whether or not I push a baby out of me or we make babies "outside of the bedroom"?

So, my fairy tale is exactly the way I want it to be! I have the most handsome husband, I have 3 wonderful children, a brick house( not yellow) no picket fence(I really don't like those anyways) and no dogs (I'm not even a dog lover).

Just a few things FYI...

Never ask a parent that has adopted a child these things...(these WILL strike a nerve)

How long have you had him/her?

Can his parents take him back? (No.....WE adopted him, he is OURS and I AM HIS PARENT!!!)

How much did he cost?(Are you serious??)

Are your kids siblings? (Duhhhhhh....sheesh!)

That's our adoption story! It's a wonderful story and someday I will have to explain it to Landen.
I just want people to know that adoption is a very difficult process. It's emotionally draining and it cannot be simplified, but at the end of the day, our children are no less "ours" than biological children.

RESOLUTIONS?

New Years Resolutions....Nah, I prefer a REAL change, a life change.

I sometimes wonder why people make New Years Resolutions? They are rarely kept past a few weeks in January. I work at the YMCA in the wee early mornings (yes, weeeeee early mornings at 5am.) I have seen several individuals come in that I have NEVER seen the 8 mos I've been working there. They all have the intentions that they are there to lose 15-30lbs, lose some of that butt fat,muffin top,whatever seems to be hanging in all the wrong places before Spring Break. They'll drop off like flies within the next month! So why make New Years Resolutions? Why not make a life change instead? I'm not the kind of girl who gives pep-talks, or inspirational posts about New Years Resolutions or Git-R done kind of stuff... I'm not the girl that thinks you should wait until Valentines Day to show the person you love just how special they are, holding on to chocolate bunnies until Easter is a shame, and giving gifts to those who would other wise not have any should not be held until Christmas, and most importantly I don't want to make a resolution when the calendar tells me to!! I prefer to make a life change, something that I can actually attain and do! I can't do the fad diets where you can't eat anything but jello and drink H20 just to lose 20 lbs then gain 50 back once you start eating again! Anyways...my life change for this year is to NOT be so anal about my house being spotless, not caring so much if my 11 year old looks like a homeless kid because he wants his hair to grow out, or my daughter wearing the same jeans and t-shirts because "she is most comfortable in them", my 8 month old smelling like vomit or dried cereal on his face.(he has reflux so he has an excuse for smelling that bad) ANYWAYS... I want to look back over my life and say I succeeded in the most important things that I committed myself to do. For me, it's having a wonderful marriage and raising my children to be generous, caring, kind, loving, productive, compassionate,smart, fun loving adults!! I do have a list of several others, but these 2 things top my list! I've done a pretty good job thus far but I have a long road ahead. Kids are shaped by just watching us as parents, they want to be like us, talk like us and do things that we do.( That's why I tell my daughter...Do as I say, not as I did!)My 8 month old coughs when I cough, smiles when I smile and loves to eat when I eat. My daughter and son say "freakin" because I tend to say that.( I know that's not good) but my point is, our children do as we do and say things we say. That's kinda scary especially if you aren't perfect!!! I'll leave you with a life changing statement that I've heard and seen... This is my "New Years Life Change"...

"Be the kind of person you want your children to become."

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Lots to look forward to in 2011

Oh ,what beautiful, crazy kids I have!

                                                                       She's so pretty!

Most handsome!!

             2 of my favorite boys!

COMING SOON!

                                              Landen's new stander will NOT be pink, it will be blue.
                                              It should be here in about 5 weeks.

                                              Landen will be getting his AFO's real soon too.

1st Christmas for Big L

Landen's first Christmas was FANTASTIC!  Of course he received too many toys and gifts to recall.  His favorite gifts were his wagon, interactive piano, bear that teaches him where his hands, feet, ears, belly, etc. are located.  His VERY favorite gifts were the boxes and paper that wrapped his gifts.      

Some new things he's learned...

Landen now says "momma, dadda, bubba(for his brother)and ba ba"(for his bottle.)He tried chocolate ice cream(which he loved)a chocolate santa bar that he wouldn't give up to anyone and suckers that he is quite fond of as well. I know I shouldn't be giving my 8 month old junk food already but this child LOVES to eat and likes to try everything that he sees us eating.

NOW IT'S BACK TO REALITY~

Ohhhhh how wonderful Christmas break was for us. Didn't have to worry about picking kids up from school, homework or school projects to assist with, hounding my daughter about studying for biology, Ron having to wake the kids up at 5:30am to take Lexi to seminary.  FORTUNATELY, I had several days to sleep in instead of waking up at 3:45am, and we took a week off from therapy to give Landen a little Christmas break from work too! Now it's back to Dr's appts, therapy appts, getting up at 3:45a, Seminary for Lexi, school work, projects etc.  Spring Break can't come quickly enough.

Things to come...

It's hard to believe that 8 mos ago, we were rushing around to get Landen's nursery ready and have everything that he needed for him to come home from the hospital and now it's 4 short months from his 1st birthday party. How quickly time flies. He's been measured for his stander that will be coming in a couple of months and hoping to get fitted for his AFOs at our next Shriners visit.

Pictures from Christmas...

                                             Santa's Little Helper

                                                    One Sweet Monkey!

                                                    Taking a ride in my "new ride"

                                                     My first snow~

                                                     Landen's snow angel